Aadea

i want war the way i want a man to rest his lips against mine tired and tell me something ugly and poetic like "you are a bird and i am a fountain won't you sing to me?" if there was war and i had a man like this i would say "no" and then "yes do not leave me."

i could never achieve anything more stupid than this. this is the fold in the page that your elbow kissed when you brushed my words away and laid down so that all i could hold was your breath, hot and terrifying against the place i despise most. you thought to do this once and only once and i will say that i do not want this ever again. i do not want to be the one ripple in a sea fighting against the shore. i do not want to be dragged against the sand and sharp rocks or weighed down with this salt. every night that i am alone, i leave this place. i'm pounding faster against the coast, the footfalls erased in each angry beat of the ocean. ever

I cannot tell you how I ended up in this car with its dim lights & faded scratches nor when I stopped becoming something sizeable. I can tell you about long distance, unnecessarydetails and how I still pant when I think of a cold open field. I have no idea how to give to you the same fascination explain why I have become so  unpredictable. practical, particular. in my page endings I paint so that I will (not) forget. I am seeing off my dreams - the last little birds of younger days in a canoe I light candles as a fiend imagine this is the way the Natives did it with wet faces tired (big sticks

thread the holes of the stomach bring about the sea and plunder needles to necks and look. this is how i love. this is how i weep, hold you, danger, so far away my body is like she is only a body. i am only theater songs, old wavering bits from a ballroom chandelier

i don't want this night you here all teeth and heart wrong direction you're coming all wrong like a nudist i forget you're beautiful all deep exotic wine dripping down the walls you climbed like nothing had ever been so before you how terrible i'd treat you how long i'd linger on breaths hold you under my tongue like a bird or a word i refuse to let go

Because thunder was never enough I miss you Hands in the hair and tired chin Hands on the ass sink in I am sad Imagine the world bigger Imagine the moon of your arm sleeping on my breasts O' King beneath your eyelids, soft mouth you smile soft rise, soft fall like my beached man my cool sand my cat kisses nipping

when it's like this. Not when it's hanging in front of the face, fleshy and oversized. Because his air supply is the same and he's somehow warmer, more present. Everyone sees the girl shiver. I don't care for this tune. In fact, I have ripped the season a new one. Tonight the cosmos are my friend. Tomorrow, raspy figments and a good hand.

In the last hot moments of me slamming a door in your face, I like to say things like " YOU'LL SEE. No one will dress your heart like a king or crawl into your words like they are coffins and sleep, like they knew what that meant. Yeah, YOU'LL SEE. GOODBYE YOU SHIT. " I'd also say something a lot like well, alright forgive me for that one, but really if you're going to treat me like a potted plant could you just sing to me a little? If I lifted my head any higher, I'd say yeah, well my tits are bigger, my legs are better roads to drive on, & I even wear stilettos like a hungry cat. But if I wanted to be

learned to hide what makes us me, the upper right hand shelf of dirty and not so dirty stories. no, i resent mostly leaving the ground colder digging my face into slideshows stand-by and selfish thrash like a victim wake up later

to hear that you have found yourself amist the gunslinging and dead fields. In your last bed I was crying. Young girls will tell you that it is beautiful to buy new shoes and dance in long ways forward. I will argue with my hips threaten to leave them should they fail me again. Lady murmurs, sideways is for curious. She says it to her feet like she is disspointed or embarassed or both. I feel oddly rotten. As if I could reach out and sob into each one of her toes. I want to tell her 'I am sorry'. I am sorry you've been out here so long, please come inside. But I am rotten and my flesh is soft and she stands up and is gone.